I met Hal Jackson and was interviewed by him early in my career. Not only a staple in black music but his Hal Jackson Pageant helped develop thousands of young African American women. Plus he did what he loved ’til the day he died.
Gotta respect that.
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“Many of us look at life as work. We approach it and try to handle it like a job. We complain about it. We blame others when it is not working. We hold someone else responsible when it does not give us what we want. Some of us give up on life. We move from day to day, with no plan, no goals and ultimately no rewards.
We fail to understand that if life is work, the better we do it, the better it will pay us. When we perform our tasks to the very best of our ability we receive just rewards for what we do. When we are thorough in our work and put our best into it, we become better at it.
When we become too good for where we are, we will be advanced to our rightful place. The things we must realize about life is it can’t be better until we are better. We cannot get more until we are more. The only thing that can stop our advancement in life is our not being ready to move.
If life is work, run it like a multimillion dollar corporation and elect yourself chief executive officer.”
- Excerpt from “Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color” by Iyanla Vanzant
The greatest success
You don’t have to be famous to be important. You don’t have to be a celebrity to be successful.
You don’t have to live in opulent luxury to be rich. You don’t have to be irresponsible to be free.
You don’t have to be outrageous to be creative. You don’t have to be abusive to be impressive.
You can be quietly humble and still be amazingly effective. You can be kind and considerate and still have great influence.
Just because people don’t fall at your feet and worship you, doesn’t mean you are a failure. Quiet success is just as sweet as loud, flamboyant success, and usually much more real.
Success is what you choose for it to be, not what everyone else says it must be. Live your life in each moment in a way that truly fulfills you and brings value to your world, for that is the greatest success.
— Ralph Marston
By MARIE HARTWELL-WALKER, ED.D
The items in the chart below are the characteristics most often identified in studies of happy long term couples. Although not all couples show all of these attributes all of the time, having strengths in a majority of them does seem to correlate with permanence and contentment.
Take a moment to reflect on each item. Check off the appropriate column.
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Look at the items you checked in Column B. Which do you feel comfortable offering to your partner as a “present”. Can you think of concrete and specific things you can do to make it occur more often in your relationship?
Now look at the issues you checked in Column A. Which to you feel comfortable asking for from your partner? Has something blocked you from asking or has it simply not occurred to you that you could? Take a moment to reflect on what you could do differently to invite more of these things into your life.
The items in Column C are things to celebrate together. These are the characteristics that make your relationship solid and strong.
You and your partner might want to examine the issues that show up in Column D. Why do you think that these issues aren’t important to either of you? It’s not necessarily a problem if you are in agreement. Some couples, for example, are not very verbally appreciative of each other. They agree that actions are more important than words and communicate their caring through mutual thoughtfulness. But if, for example, every conflict leads to painful blaming and fighting, it could undermine what otherwise has all the potential to be a happy relationship. If the items you checked in Column D give either of you pain, it’s something to work on. Think about how your life together would be different if you decided to add these dimensions to your relationship. Consider giving each other the gift of practicing them in your relationship until they feel natural for you.
Have you ever known a person who zaps the energy right out of a room whenever they enter? Or what about that person who seems to create the energy once they enter? It’s typically one of the two reactions: either people are excited to see you coming or look forward to the moment you leave. Which person are you normally and especially in your relationship?
It may not be easy to admit, but if you are reading this and are starting to feel slightly convicted there might be something to examine. Those that drain the relationship don’t actually intend to or even feel like they do, but the reality is they do and it is time to make a few changes.
The evidence doesn’t lie. Here are the signs to look for:
The Consumer
AKA the Leech seems to securely attach themselves to their partner. This individual demands a great deal of attention and in some sense dominates the relationship. They consume the relationship with an urgency of their needs being met. This person rarely considers the needs of the other person. Their spouse’s entire existence becomes about fulfilling their desires. The other partner is relied on so heavily this relationship can actually consume them, leaving them drained and depleted. In this setting a relationship can go downhill fairly quickly. A spouse’s role is to add to their partner’s life by meeting certain needs and bringing peace and joy to the marriage. But this commitment has to be delivered by both individuals. Remember after we take care of one another, we all need our own space. We also have to have an existence outside of our spouse. Individuals must learn how to enjoy and entertain themselves and respect the fact that our mate also has a life outside of us.
The Supplier
Is a positive spirit that delivers a healthy energy to the relationship. This individual focuses on giving. The give is in time, thought, consideration and support. Can you imagine the power that would exist if both partners adopted this concept? We all want to experience a partnership that generates positivity, joy and peace. Our relationship should be a place we look forward to spending our time, one we are eager to get back home to. When the rest of the world is done beating up on us, this is where we are restored. Who wouldn’t want a love like this?
Consider the energy you bring to your partnership, marriage and all of your relationships. Now take an honest assessment of how you show up. If you are definitely a supplier, you are in a great place. But if you find yourself falling under the consumer category, don’t be discouraged. You have the power to turn your situation around. You first have to possess the desire. Just remember both you and your mate deserve a union filled with positive energy.
Your crown has been bought and paid for. All you must do is put it on your head. – James Baldwin
You are the stuff life is made of. You are the essence of life. You have been chosen at this time, in this place to be among the living. You come from a long line of successful living beings. You are one of the king’s kids. Born into the world to inherit the kingdom. You are equipped to handle anything. You live by grace, built by love. You are the cause and the reason of everything you see. You are one with the Source. You are creative. You are alive. What else could possibly matter?
excerpt from Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color by Iyanla Vanzant
Important questions of our time: Do you live vicariously through the Internet? Do you have an Ivy League background? Which Ralph Lauren line do you prefer, Polo or Rugby? The good people at Complex have, impossibly, sorted out the dense brush of our men’s-wear blogosphere and reduced it to a handful of sharp observations, and just like that, you can figure out why you love Jak & Jil so much. You can’t read. We haven’t been this pleased by a fashion infographic since that “How to Get Shot by the Sartorialist” one from a few years ago. Parting query: Do you like your men’s wear with a healthy dose of boob?
Thanks Complex.com
Once a gentleman firmly plants his foot within the realm of business, it is a matter of paramount importance that he equip himself with the proper personal accessories that accurately reflect a professional lifestyle. And there are a bevy of personal accessories out there that a gentleman can possess. A laptop, a writing utensil, a smart-phone or even a tablet are but a few choice items. But none are more important than an old companion in his arsenal — the briefcase, or some other form of toting sophistication. Now, the venerable briefcase sits atop this list; mainly because it grants much needed sanctuary to the aforementioned accessories. Backpacks are for students. Briefcases are for professionals. Visit Uptown Magazine to view all bags!
via Uptown Magazine
Hold yourself responsible to a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Now that we have safely put winter behind us, it’s time to go outside and resume physical activity.
According to Moshe Lewis, MD, chief of physical medicine and rehabilitation at California Pacific Center-St. Luke’s Campus in the Department of Orthopedics, although you may be tempted to exercise at the same level you did at the end of the last season, such enthusiasm often leads to early season injuries.
If you changed your routine for the winter, you need to get back into shape slowly. The following are some tips from Lewis for avoiding injuries as you increase your exercise this summer.
1. Slow and steady — don’t overdo it: Try to exercise three to four times per week on alternate days. One of the best ways to get injured or sore is to go hard all weekend and do nothing during the week. Adding one hundred steps to your daily routine will add a tiny bit to your fitness level, if you keep it up. Your body will adapt.
2. Cross train: Alternating your workouts can improve your performance and reduce the risk of injuries.
By participating in a variety of different activities, such as running, weight training, hiking, or biking, you limit the stress on one specific muscle group because different activities use muscles in slightly different ways. Muscles are easy. They adapt and get stronger fast. And that is why you get injured.
3. Avoid exercising in pain: As you ease back into training you may experience some minor muscle aches and soreness. But if you have any sharp, unusual pain, or soreness that doesn’t go away, pay close attention. You may be on the way to an injury.
Listen to the early warning signs of an injury, otherwise you increase your chances of tissue and muscle tear, which can often lead to permanent long term damage.
4. Train with others who share the same enthusiasm as you: If you can find a few people with the same fitness level and goals as you it can help keep you progressing at a good pace.
Working out in a group provides support, accountability and structure. You are more likely to complete a well-rounded exercise routine and stay on track with your fitness regimen.
5. Don’t be so hard on yourself: Getting back into shape is often slow and difficult, and you have to ramp up your intensity level and exercise routines gradually. Remember you have to pace yourself, and if you took the winter off don’t expect to be back at your peak fitness in a week or two.
Take your time and Keep in mind that Summer Training is a time for fun, light-hearted exercise. You aren’t competing so just relax, enjoy your activity and enjoy the summer.
via HealthyBlackMen
“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” – Oprah Winfrey
“Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul. Musical innovation is full of danger to the state, for when modes of music change, the laws of the state always change with them.” – Plato
Let’s remember her doing what she loved to do, Singing. What a beautiful voice.
“LAST DANCE”
“LOVE TO LOVE YOU BABY”
“SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY”
Gimel Keaton AKA Young Guru, engineer and DJ to legendary rapper Jay Z journeyed to South Africa to launch The Young Guru Scholarship Fund at the School of Audio Engineering (SAE Institute). Young Guru upheld the essence of his stage name by imparting knowledge and planting seeds of inspiration in the many fertile minds in his presence at the two workshops he held as part of the launch event.
The visit kicked off with a live gig in Johannesburg, and a show at Zula Bar in Cape Town, featuring sets by DJs Ready D and Azhul, as well as the hip-hop duo Ill Skillz and many other local and aspiring emcees such as Hemel-Besem and Youngsta. The spirit of hip-hop was alive in the die-hard fans, either out to be enthralled by Ready D’s signature vinyl scratching expertise, or out to support their kinfolk in the rap game, but most people were there to witness the historical event of a Young Guru set in South Africa. Walking on stage with as much reverence as he received, he acquainted himself with the audience by playing popular hit jams from the Roc-A-Fella stable (e.g. “Run This Town,” “Big Pimpin’”) then cut and created a time-portal, playing hip-hop’s most classic and nostalgic jams including the likes of Ultra-Magnetic, ATCQ, and KRS One, much to the delight of the purist crowd. The set ended on an emotional note with a tribute to J Dilla who he deems “sort of like how Michael Jordan was the essence of basketball, he is the essence of hip-hop, the greatest producer of all time.”
Students and various aspiring artists and producers experienced Young Guru’s know-how of everything from the art and science of sound engineering, to the ins and outs of the music industry at a workshop hosted by the SAE Institute on May 14th. Speaking of his childhood in Delaware, he said “growing up, disco was king, and that was something that didn’t really represent us, so we set out to create a type of music that was suited to us.” He went on to explain “we had park jams instead of clubs, where everybody came out: b-boys, crews battling, djs showcasing, graffiti artists too.” He continued, with detailed anecdotes revealing the origins of all his technical knowledge: “I was enthralled by how things were put together – I was that kid fixing everybody’s VHS players, which was where I first learned about circuits and all.” Incidentally, Jazzy Jeff is the man responsible for sparking Young Guru’s interest in DJing and music production. The crowd was particularly illuminated when he revealed that his schoolmates and comrades in the hustle at Howard University were folks like P.Diddy and and others that have become instrumental in developing the genre into what it is today.
The evening progressed into a rich lecture, a technical breakdown of music apparatus as well as effectively illustrated opinions of the digital revolution and its consequences to the music industry. The man is clearly well versed, embodying both scientific and philosophical roles in the field of hip-hop music and culture, “Man, he is an encyclopedia, period,” commented a moved audience member.
A selected audience got the chance to sit in with Young Guru on a private studio session where he displayed tips and tricks as well as divulged exclusive information about Jay Z’s lyrics and the origins of tracks such as the infamous hit “DOA.” A second and similar installment to the workshop was held in the Mitchell’s Plain township of Cape Town. The Young Guru Scholarship Fund is an extension of his existing social and youth development initiatives in his own neighborhood: “We just thought to expand and connect internationally, and facilitate an infrastructure for the development of the hip-hop scene” he explained. The process shall include the screening of works by shortlisted students, from which he will pick one to award a R60 000 bursary to study at the Institute. “International hip-hop is definitely the next big thing, the time is ripe for international artists. Things like language barriers are actually irrelevant…We will be looking out for something that is innately you, I’m not looking for the next Jay Z” he advises, encourages, or warns.
Via: OkayAfrica.com
The gift of today
You have a wonderful, beautiful, valuable gift with which you can literally transform your life. That gift is this day you’re now living. This very day is overflowing with rich and meaningful possibilities.
The value of this day is here and now, right in front of you. Life’s great abundance is here on this day for you to put to good use. Today you can choose, you can learn, you can act, and you can make real progress.
Today has limitless potential. Yet for that potential to be transformed into value, you must make use of the opportunity of today while it is here.
Today is much too valuable to waste. Its magnificent possibilities are already here, so step quickly forward and make the most of them.
Today is a priceless gift that’s yours to live right now. Joyously fill it with your own unique flavor of life and achievement. — Ralph Marston
It’s a goal for every couple to be happy in their marriage. This often means overcoming hiccups, forgiving past grievances, letting go of each others’ little annoyances, and even doing things for the other that you don’t really want to do (like redecorating the house for her or going to football games with him). Doing these things are great and are essential in creating a happy marriage, but after so long of working just to keep the peace with each other and doing things to avoid conflict, couples often discover that they wish their relationship had more flavor. They wish it was more exciting, more vibrant, more passionate, etc. This doesn’t mean that they’re not in love with their spouse or that they’re not happy in their relationship. They just wish their relationship had more excitement, more variety and more…well, flavor. So below are some tips that will help you to create more flavor in your relationship.
• Don’t just focus on how to keep from irritating your spouse, focus on how to excite your spouse. It’s natural to not want to annoy your spouse but if all you focus on is not stepping on their toes then you ‘re losing focus on more fun things like thinking of ways to excite or surprise your spouse. For example, next time you get an invitation to go out with your friends don’t just think about how you’re going to tell your spouse in a way that won’t annoy them or get you in trouble. Instead, think of a way you can turn it into an opportunity to surprise or excite your spouse.
• Add variety. Humans are creatures of habit. After years of marriage you probably have a favorite TV show you watch together, a favorite restaurant you both like going to, a usual night of the week you go out on and a regular babysitter who you call. But in all this routine, you lose a lot of flavor your relationship. Part of having an exciting relationship is to experience novel things together. This way you are always getting to know each other in new ways – like seeing your spouse wince when they try a new food they don’t like or when they buy you a new kind of CD to listen to. These novel experiences create freshness and variety in an otherwise routine relationship.
• Spice up the bedroom. As mentioned before, humans are creatures of habit. After years of marriage many couples come to a routine in the bedroom, too. They find themselves having sex in the same position, at the same time (e.g. after the kids go to bed), and in the same place (e.g. the bedroom). Breaking habits in the bedroom and trying new things creates spontaneity, allows you and your spouse to connect in new ways and forces you to communicate about an area of your relationship that creates passion and bonding. So next time you’re both feeling in the mood don’t just wait until the kids are in bed. Any place or time with some privacy will do. Besides, finding a new places and times might require you to get creative about new positions, too.
• Talk about each others’ emotional needs. After living with someone so long you learn to discuss practical needs very well (e.g. need more milk, or need new socks, etc) but have you ever stopped to ask what their emotional needs are? Every person has the same fundamental emotional needs: the need to feel safe, the need to feel appreciated, and the need to feel important to name a couple. You two may be doing well at talking about your practical needs but how well do you do at talking about your emotional needs? To open up to each other and talk about whether you feel important enough or safe enough, etc., that creates a new flavor in your relationship that creates connection vibrancy.
These are just a few suggestions of things you can do to create more flavor in your relationship. But don’t limit yourself to just these. Make an effort to identify the routines in your relationship and come up with ideas together about how to change them in ways that are new, exciting and fun for both of you. Just like ice cream, there’s lots of different flavors you can try and while some may not exactly be your cup of tea, you may be surprised which flavors you actually like.
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” -
Martin Luther King, Jr.
For an exquisite gift to that special man in your life, a designer tie can be just what you’re looking for. They are a truly luxurious gift and will last for many years when properly cared for.
How to choose one that is truly good quality? Price isn’t always a good indicator. Here are a few tips to help you when shopping for men’s ties:
BIAS CUT
You want a tie that has the fabric cut on the bias. This helps ensure that the tie falls straight rather than twisting or falling at an angle.
To test a bias cut, try this: take the necktie and make a tie knot. Drape it over your hand (make sure the knot lies on top). If the tie falls straight and not off center, the tie is likely cut on the bias.
TIE LINING
The lining could be cut too small for the design of the tie and can cause it to pucker or curl at the edges. Test the lining by draping an unknotted tie in half over your hand. Watch that the narrow end of the tie falls to the middle of the wider end. This is a good indicator that the tie is falling straight and the lining is sized appropriately.
STRETCH THE TIE
Grab the necktie at both ends and give it a good tug. If the tie retains its shape and is not misshapen once you relax the ends, it’s a sign that the tie is well made and the fabric is of good quality.
LOOK FOR THREE PIECES
A good quality tie will have one piece for the back narrow end, one piece for the front wide and and one piece for the center neckband.
FABRIC
A fine quality tie is made from silk (not satin!) with the lining made from wool. Look for high wool content or 100% wool.
Keeping these tips in mind the next time you shop for a good quality men’s tie will help save yourself from spending too much money on a shoddy necktie priced as if it were a well made designer label tie.
Via: Men-Clothers.info
The myth that the running shoe is beyond the fashion realms is an idea that the three trainers below can safely put to bed. Exercising the energetic nature within all of us Ape’s, this bunch have finesse to ensure that even when covered in sweat your feet still look cut above the rest.
Auckland racer, £48 by CONVERSE; size.co.uk
Red and white running shoe, £89.99 by DIADORA; footpatrol.co.uk
Green and grey trainer, £55 by NEW BALANCE; size.co.uk
via ApeToGentleman
(c) All Rights Reserved for Eric Roberson Music